


Take My Breath Away

by hydrangeaseeds



Series: learning how to fall [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrangeaseeds/pseuds/hydrangeaseeds
Summary: Jason has always loved Percy Jackson. It's too bad that Percy doesn't love him back. Right?
Relationships: Jason Grace/Percy Jackson
Series: learning how to fall [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840369
Comments: 23
Kudos: 188





	Take My Breath Away

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Jason Grace! It's still July 1st where I am. I love you and I miss you :( <3

The first time Jason meets Percy, he is five years old and alone in the park as Thalia and his mother yell in their apartment. Jason sits at the top of the slide and looks out over the rest of the playground. At this time of day, so early in the morning, there aren't many people in the park. Besides him, there's a pair of older kids playing on the swings, and a boy that looks around his age sitting in the sandbox building a castle. Jason doesn't have many friends at kindergarten, but this boy looks approachable with his baby blue shirt and Jason is lonely, so he quickly makes his way down the slide and over to the sandbox. All the while, his hands twist the hem of his sweater anxiously.

"Hi. I like your sandcastle," he says and stops right outside the sandbox. The boy turns around to look at him, and he looks even friendlier up close than he did from afar. His black hair is fluffy and the brightness of his green eyes matches the blinding white of his smile as he grins up at Jason.

"Thanks! Do you want to help me make another tower?" the boy shuffles in the sandcastle to make room for Jason to sit.

"That sounds fun. My name's Jason," Jason mumbles as he gingerly sits in the offered place.

"My name's Perseus, but everyone calls me Percy! Nice to meet you!" Percy gives Jason another goofy smile before turning back to his castle. His eyes crinkle when he smiles, while his hair bounces as he moves his head. Jason is distracted for a moment as he places these characteristics in the box of his mind now reserved for his thoughts of Percy. He nods his head slightly, before turning his attention to the sandcastle as well.

"Nice to meet you too." Jason and Percy work in tandem as the sky grows lighter and more people begin to show up at the park. After approximately an hour has passed, a woman walks up the sandcastle with a fond smile on her face. Jason can see Percy in her face. Despite her kind features, her eyes seem sad and tired. They remind him of Thalia's eyes whenever their mom can't get up in the morning.

Percy looks up at the sound of approaching footsteps, and his face brightens with joy. "Mama!" he cries, as he bounds into his mother's arms.

"Hi baby, who's your friend?" she glances at Jason, and Jason immediately breaks eye contact to look at his hands.

"That's Jason! We made a sandcastle together. Isn't it cool?" Percy giggles and even Jason smiles at his joy.

"It's nice to meet you, Jason. That is a very impressive sandcastle." Percy nods in agreement. Sally ruffles his hair before standing up from her crouch. "Unfortunately, it's time to go home now. Say bye-bye to Jason."

Percy waves his hand, and Jason does the same in response. "Bye-bye, Jason." Percy's mom links hands with him, before leading him out of the park.

"Bye-bye," Jason murmurs, still waving. He sits alone in the sandbox until Thalia comes to get him, thirty minutes later. He doesn't talk to anyone else.

* * *

As he grows older, Jason always remembers Percy. They end up going to the same high school, and it is in freshman year that Jason finally learns his last name. However, it isn't until sophomore year that they end up having a class together. Jason has never been so grateful for history in his life. With the way Ms. James has assigned seats, Jason is able to watch Percy all class while pretending to pay attention. It's in this hour that they have together that Jason is able to add more items to the box in his mind reserved for Percy Jackson.

For one, Percy is no longer the lighthearted child that gave away smiles like candy during Halloween. Now, it's more common to see an apathetic gaze and a tired frown on his face no matter what is happening around him. The few times that Jason has seen his expression change has been only for anger or annoyance. When faced with this, Jason almost prefers apathy. Unlike the baby blue from that day in the park, Percy now exclusively wears black to school. With his shaggy black hair and frequent bruises, everyone has him pegged as a troublemaker. Jason isn't convinced, but he also hasn't talked to the guy in more than 10 years, besides the brief classroom interactions of passing up papers or confirming due dates. Jason thinks that there is nothing more that he would like to do than get to know Percy Jackson, but that sentiment doesn't seem mutual and so he watches silently.

One day, as Jason is making his way to the parking lot after school, he sees Percy sitting at a table with his head in his hands. As he makes his way closer, he recognizes the book that he's looking at to be their history textbook.

"Uh, hi. Percy. Are you studying for the history test?" Jason says as he stops beside the table. Percy looks up from his textbook and frowns at Jason. Jason is beginning to regret stopping because he doesn't think that he's ever been more anxious in his life.

"Yeah, I am." Percy stares up at Jason as he fidgets on his feet. "Why?"

"Um, I was wondering if you wanted to study together? This unit is pretty difficult, and it might go easier if we work together. Y'know, two heads are better than one," Jason chuckles nervously as he fusses with his backpack strap.

Percy shrugs before moving his backpack so that Jason can sit next to him. Jason lets out the breath that he was holding before sitting down. Time passes quickly as they continue to study and compare notes. As the sky grows darker, Percy checks his phone and curses before quickly packing up his stuff. Jason quickly checks the time on his watch and notes that it's almost 6 o'clock.

Before Percy turns to leave, he looks at Jason and smiles. It lights up his entire face. "Hey, Jason, thanks for helping me with the unit. I know that you didn't need to study."

Jason flushes. "It was no problem! Um, we can do this again sometime if you want. This was really fun and productive." Percy pauses before nodding. "Okay, uh, great! Do you want to exchange numbers then?"

"Yeah sure," Percy grabs Jason's notebook and quickly scribbles down his number, "just text me. See you." He waves as he jogs away and Jason can't help but wave back even though he knows that Percy can't see him. He groans, before thumping his head down on his notebook. God, he's so screwed. But, then again. If he gets to have Percy Jackson in his life, anything's worth it.

As Jason walks home, he can't help but daydream about Percy and his smile. As he does so, he also plans what he's going to text him. It shouldn't be anything too complicated, right? Just a simple greeting and his name should be fine. But then, he doesn't want to come off as cold or anything. Maybe an emoji? Or is that too embarrassing?

Jason ponders this as he enters his home and makes his way to his mom's room. When he cracks open the door, he sees her laying on the bed, staring at the wall. The glass of water that he left for her this morning is untouched. It's a bad day.

"I'm home," he murmurs, before making his way to the kitchen to make a quick dinner. He leaves a bowl of food by his mom's bedside table, before retreating to his room to work on homework and pine over Percy Jackson.

(He ends up sending a smiley face at the end of his message.)

* * *

As Jason continues to study with Percy after school, they begin to text more often as well. In the beginning, it's Jason who starts their conversations. However, Percy continues to respond, and eventually, he begins to initiate as well. Many nights, Jason stays up late to exchange messages with Percy, and he always falls asleep with a smile on his face on those days. Jason has friends at school, but he's never felt this ease with anyone else but Percy. Even when they sit in total silence, each working on their own thing, Jason remains comfortable and content. Being around Percy brings Jason a sense of calms that quiets his perpetually racing mind.

At school, they don't talk that much, only sharing history together. And it's not as though their friends overlap, with Percy hanging out with Luke Castellan and his group. But when they pass each other in the halls, Percy always returns Jason's meek wave with a salute and a lopsided grin that still manages to give him butterflies.

After two weeks of studying after school in the library, on the days when Percy doesn't have swim practice, it is announced during the morning announcements that the library will now be closed after school for a month for renovations. When Jason messages Percy later that day during lunch, he decides to take a risk and ask if Percy would like to study at his house instead. After all, the worst that he could do is say no, right? For the rest of the day, Jason is full of jitters and unable to sit still. If he isn't twisting something in his hands, his foot is tapping, or his leg is trembling. When his phone finally vibrates during his study hall, Jason lunges to check it.

_ That sounds great. I'll meet you at the front of the school then. _ Jason grins like a fool after reading the message.

_ Awesome. See you then! _ He can't even be embarrassed at how quickly he replied.

When Jason lets Percy into his home, Jason isn't sure if he should be worried or not. His mom hasn't had one of her really bad days in years, so he doesn't think that the house will be trashed. But then, he also doesn't know if she's passed out on the couch or the floor, as opposed to her room. As the door opens to reveal the darkened house with no bodies or bottles on the floor, Jason lets out a silent breath of relief.

"Here, we can go up to my room," Jason says as he ushers Percy inside. This is the first time that he's had anyone over. As he looks into the house, he can't help but notice how empty and cold the house is. There are more rooms in this house than there are people living in it. But when he looks over at Percy, there is no judgment on his face. Jason quickly makes his way up the stairs to open the door to his room, which is only moderately more lived-in than the rest of the house. As soon as Percy enters though, it's as if life is breathed into the atmosphere. Jason thought that he would feel uncomfortable having Percy in his private space, but it's like he is meant to be there. "Can you grab what you wanna work on? I'm going to go tell my mom that you're here."

Jason dashes down the hall before creeping into his mom's room. For once, she's not laying down and staring at the ceiling. Instead, she's sitting up and staring straight ahead. He slowly makes his way to her side to gauge her awareness.

"Hi mom," he whispers. "I brought a friend home with me. His name is Percy. We're going to study for a while, okay?" He waits to see if she'll respond.

Right when he's about to give up and leave, she gives a slow nod. It's a good day.

When he returns to his room carrying two bottles of water and a bowl of grapes, he finds Percy looking over the pictures in his room. He jolts as Jason opens the door, and his cheeks go slightly pink. It's an endearing sight.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snoop," Percy says, as Jason sets down the snacks.

"No, I don't mind. Go ahead." Jason joins Percy in looking at the photos stuck to his bedside wall. They're mainly pictures of Jason and Thalia when he was younger. Some of the ones from when he was a baby has his mother in them. He looks at those photos whenever he begins to forget what her face looks like. Jason doesn't have any photos of his father. When his mom's addiction started worsening, she had gone on a rampage and destroyed every photo that they had together. Sometimes, Jason thinks that she still sees his father whenever she looks at Thalia and him. That all she can see is the family they could've been together. No wonder Thalia left as soon as she could to move across the country.

"Do you like photography?" Percy asks as he looks at the photos. His eyes linger on the one from his fifth birthday.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't take that many photos anymore." Jason shrugs, before heading over to his desk and grabbing his backpack.

"Really? Why not?"

Jason rustles through his history folder, looking for their latest assignment. "I don't know, I guess I don't really have an occasion to."

"Hm. Hey, Jason, look here for a second?" Jason turns his head to see Percy with his phone up. "Great! Smile."

Jason is caught off guard by the flash and fumbles with his folder as it slips out of his hands. "What? Oh, come on." He rolls his eyes as Percy chuckles.

"Don't worry, you look great! Here, let's take one together. Say 'cheese', Grace." Percy slings his arm around Jason's shoulders as he angles the phone in front of their faces.

Jason looks mildly constipated in the resulting photograph, but Percy’s eyes are dancing with mirth, and his smile shows his dimples, so it's a masterpiece in Jason's eyes. He gets Percy to airdrop it to him and reminds himself to get it developed soon to stick on his wall.

* * *

Percy continues to study with Jason at his house, even when the library opens up again. At this point, there's less studying and more talking and joking around. With each passing day, Jason can see Percy open up more and more to him. It's during one of these times when Percy is crowded next to Jason as he shows Percy a cute cat video, that Jason looks at Percy and feels his heart stutter.

Jason has always known that Percy Jackson is beautiful, but when he turns his head to meet Jason's eyes with a bashful smile and pink cheeks, he is absolutely breathtaking. When his eyes flicker down to Jason's mouth and he leans in to press a chaste kiss to Jason's lax lips, Jason's heart is pounding so fast that he swears it'll stop. Jason chases his mouth as Percy pulls aways, meeting his twinkling green eyes with his own, and for this moment, Jason is the happiest that he's ever been.

They don't talk about what they are, but when Percy has to leave after another hour, they kiss at the door, and when Percy sits on Jason's bed the next day, he reels Jason in for another savoring kiss, so Jason is content.

As their relationship progresses, Jason finds himself divulging more and more of himself to Percy. He talks about Thalia, and how his love for her conflicts with his feelings of loneliness after she left at 18. How he cares about his mother but also wishes that she could act like a mom. How he doesn't know if he should scorn his father, or wish to meet him. How their only connection is the checks that he sends to his mother every month.

Sometimes, Jason worries that he's annoying Percy with all of his troubles. Whenever he asks if Percy has something that he wants to get off his chest, he merely shakes his head and kisses the scar on Jason's lip.

It's not all blue skies and smooth sailing. Jason knows that for all Percy's reputation as a troublemaker, he's gotten into fewer fights as they've spent more time together. Yet the amount of bruises on Percy's body remains the same. Whenever Jason tries to confront Percy about it, he closes off and refuses to even look at Jason. It isn't until Jason drops the subject that he returns back to normal. Jason knows that there's something wrong, but he doesn't know what to do. But if there's anything that Jason Grace is, it's patient, and so Jason continues to wait for Percy to grow comfortable enough to share his thoughts with Jason and feels his love for Percy expand in the meantime.

It's terrifying. Jason has never loved anyone like he loves Percy Jackson. He's never even said 'I love you' out loud to someone before. Thalia has always been someone who shows her affection physically rather than verbally, and he shows his care for his mother through acts of service rather than words.

Months pass and Jason feels as though he can muster up the courage to tell Percy exactly how much he cares for him. Their relationship is as stable as it's ever been. On school days, they continue to text and spend time together after school. At school, they exchange glances and smiles whenever they cross paths and even eat lunch together whenever Percy isn't with his friends. On the weekends, their conversations are more sporadic, but Percy always responds, even if he leaves Jason waiting for hours.

On the Friday of May 1st, after seven months of being friends, and three months of dating, Jason finally gathers the will to confess. They're lying on Jason's bed, curled towards one another. Percy's fingers are playing with the hair on Jason's nape and Jason fiddles with the hem of Percy's shirt.

"Hey Percy?" he murmurs, looking up at him. Percy turns his head from where he was looking at their photo on Jason's wall to meet his gaze. "I love you."

Now, when Jason dreamed about and planned this moment, he'd always imagined that it'd be something out of a movie. That Percy's face would soften and his blinding smile would appear on his face and not go away. That he'd say it back.

That doesn't happen.

Instead, his face goes blank and his fingers still on Jason's nape. Jason continues to speak after a beat of silence.

"I mean, you don't have to say it back. I just thought that you should know. Um, how I feel about you." Jason breaks eye contact when the look in Percy's eyes becomes too much. He's never been faced with such apathy from Percy Jackson since the first time he suggested studying together in October. The warm hand on the back of his neck that used to feel so comforting now feels suffocating. Percy doesn't say anything for the rest of the evening, and the kiss that he places on Jason's cheek before he leaves is cold and flippant.

Jason doesn't know what to do. He recognizes that obviously, Percy was uncomfortable with his confession. So, he resolves to not bring it up or allude to it ever again. The goodnight text that he sends Percy that night is a habit, a part of their routine. What's not routine is the way that Percy never replies to the message.

By Monday morning, Jason is worried out of his mind. He barely managed to sleep. He's tried to start other conversations with Percy to no avail, but all his messages show that they were read. When they pass one another in the halls, Jason smiles and waves at Percy, but he merely stares straight ahead as though Jason doesn't even exist. It's heartbreaking, but Jason is sure that this is all a misunderstanding, and that everything will go back to normal once they talk it out. Except, Percy isn't there in history, and he isn't waiting at their normal meeting spot after school either.

This is fine, he probably just went straight to swim practice. Jason quickly makes his way over to the locker room and leans against a closeby wall as he waits for practice to end and the players to filter out. When it seems as though the entire team has left except for Percy, Jason takes a deep breath before entering the changing room. The door slams behind him, and Jason wipes his sweaty palms on his pants before continuing to the lockers. When Jason sees Percy rummaging through his locker, it takes everything in him to not charge up to him and demand an explanation. Instead, he approaches as calmly as he can, despite his trembling palms.

"H-Hey, Percy. I, uh, I didn't see you today. Um, how, uh, how was practice?" Jason tries to meet his eyes, but Percy continues to focus on his locker.

"Yeah, I was busy today. It was fine." He closes the locker, before turning to open his backpack and begins stuffing in his clothes.

"Oh, okay. Uh, cool. Y-you didn't answer any of my messages either," Jason continues, voice growing softer. "I was wondering if there was a reason for that."

"I was busy, sorry. I didn't have time to entertain you." His tone makes Jason flinch.

"Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Did you want to go to my place today? I can make some food if you want," Jason offers. Anything to make Percy smile, or hell, even look at him.

"Look, Grace, I don't really have time for you, okay?" Percy finishes zipping up his backpack and slings it over his shoulder as he walks past Jason towards the door.

"Is this about what I said on Friday?" Jason can't help but blurt out, finally getting to what's been bothering him these past two days. "Because I just wanted to let you know. I didn't mean to pressure or upset you or anything. I just thought, since we're dating and all—"

"We're not dating." Percy's voice freezes the rest of Jason's sentence in his throat.

"B-but—"

"Look, Grace. What we had was fun, but that’s all." Percy keeps his back turned to Jason as he takes a deep breath, before turning to face him. "I don't—" Percy closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, the look on his face makes Jason want to cry. "I don't love you. I never have, and I never will."

The locker room is silent following his declaration, and Jason can only stare in shock. As the door slams shut behind Percy's retreating back, Jason can't find the strength to move.

Hours later, once he's finally made his way home, the only thing that he can feel is numb. As he opens the front door, he sees his mother sitting on the living room couch. By instinct, he fills a glass of water to bring it to her.

He sets the glass on the table in front of her, and she catches his wrist in her hand before he can pull away. When his eyes raise to meet hers, they're the clearest that he's ever seen them.

"Love," she starts, her voice raspy from disuse, "never fall in love. It'll always disappoint you." She releases his wrist, and he rubs at the forming bruise. He retreats back to his room, where he spends the rest of the evening.

Looking back on that time, Jason finds that it is as if part of him is lost when Percy walked away from him. It’s like living as a ghost for the rest of the year. For the first time, he thinks that he understands how his mom feels every day.

He doesn’t know how to move on. Whenever he tries to throw away his picture of them together, he always finds himself digging through the trash an hour later. He can’t even gather the willpower to delete Percy's number. One night, when he is feeling particularly heartbroken, Jason is reckless enough to send Percy a text.

It doesn’t go through.

As the school year approaches its end, Jason never talks to or looks at Percy Jackson again. When they pass in the halls, Jason ducks his head. When they are placed next to each other in class, Jason keeps his head tilted away from Percy so that he is always in his blind spot. Whenever Jason hears his voice or even catches a glimpse of his black hair, it feels as though someone is squeezing his heart. On the last day of school, Jason runs home.

Things get worse before they get better. Four weeks after Jason's birthday, his mother passes away from an overdose. He meets his father for the first time after the funeral. When he looks at him, Jason can't see the resemblance. For that, he is glad.

When Percy's birthday comes around, Jason is moving into his sister's apartment in California, and doesn't even notice the occasion until weeks have passed.

* * *

After years have passed, Jason doesn't think that he'll ever fully get over Percy Jackson. Even now, as a junior in college, sometimes his mind wanders to what he thought they had together before the news was broken to him that it was all in his head. Looking back on it, he can't believe how naive he was, believing that what they had was love. Their relationship, if it could even be called that, was painfully one-sided. If anything, Percy merely put up with his affection. It is likely for the better that things ended between them before Jason became even more entangled in his feelings for Percy.

Even as Jason says this to himself, he can't soothe the pain in his heart that responds to thought of Percy Jackson like a call. He is Jason's first heartbreak, that he never truly mourns. He never cries over the end, instead clamming up. Now, he only feels cold where the thought of Percy Jackson used to warm his soul.

* * *

When Jason returns to New York for college, he’s grown as a person. No longer is he the anxious and lonely teenager. Instead, he makes an effort to befriend people and become more social, and works on improving himself and gaining confidence. Part of this entails joining his friends when they go to parties, which leads Jason to where he is now.

It's a cool Saturday evening, and Percy Jackson is leaning on the wall across the room as he chats with the group around him and gestures with the cup in his hand. In response to something that Jason can't hear, Percy Jackson throws his head back, exposing the long line of his neck, and laughs. Jason can't breathe. As Percy brings his cup up to take a sip from it, his eyes rove across the rest of the room.

Even though he knows that he should, if only to protect himself, Jason can't bring himself to look away. Jason sees Percy jolt when their eyes meet, and his drink slips out of his hand to the surprise of the people around him. Percy breaks eye contact to apologize for the mess, and Jason uses that as his chance to escape.

He finds Piper where he last saw her by the drinks. "Hey Piper," he grabs her arm, "I need to leave. Now."

Piper starts to protest but stops once she sees Jason's face. "Okay, yeah. I'll take you home. Let's go." Jason nearly sprints to the car, with Piper trying to keep pace, and the ride home is silent.

Piper slows to a stop outside of his apartment building. "Thanks for the ride," Jason mutters, already itching to go to sleep.

"Of course, Jason. Wait—" she stops him from fully exiting the car, "when you're ready, text us." She lets him go after he nods his assent.

Jason doesn't know what to do. He goes to his apartment, and he lies down in bed, and then he doesn't move for the rest of the night. When sunlight streams through his bedroom window the next day, Jason just feels empty. It's not an unfamiliar feeling, and so he picks up his phone, and tells Leo and Piper all that they need to know.

It's a cruel twist of fate that they both are already acquainted with Percy Jackson, having met him at the beginning of junior year after he transferred to the college. It's nothing short of a miracle that they haven't crossed paths until now. Now, when Jason is five years older, but still struck dumb at the mere thought of Percy Jackson remembering who he is. Jason can only pray that it was too dark for Percy to make out his face at the party, that he is insignificant enough to Percy Jackson that he can't even remember him anymore. The thought of him having forgotten about him, as opposed to remembering the humiliation that Jason felt at his rejection, both are sentiments that threaten to suffocate Jason where he stands. Leo and Piper promise to not talk about Percy in his presence.

* * *

One or two weeks pass, Jason doesn't know. It feels as though the world is flying past him, while he can only run to keep up. Jason takes to studying in the courtyard under one of the bigger oak trees planted in the lawn. One day, as he's trying to prepare for his upcoming Ancient Greek history exam, a pair of worn blue tennis shoes stop in front of him. When Jason finally takes notice and looks up, it's as though time slows to a stop.

Percy Jackson is as beautiful now as he was five years ago, maybe more. The only difference is that now, there's a spark of light in his eyes that Jason didn't see the last time they—. Well, since Percy told him the truth.

It's terrifying. Jason can't do this. Not now, not today, not tomorrow. Probably not ever.

"Jason," Percy says, and the wistful way that he says his name, as if he's  _ missed _ Jason, makes Jason avert his gaze and begin stuffing his notes into his backpack. "Wait, Jason, please. C-can we talk?" Jason doesn't stop packing away his things. "Or please. I-if you don't want to talk to me, I completely understand. I just. There's a lot of things that I need to tell you, that you deserve to know. Please. Just, hear me out."

"I don't think there's anything else to say. You told me all that you needed to say last time we met."

"Please, please Jason." Percy crouches down and reaches out a shaky hand, as though to touch Jason's hand. The thought of touching Percy again, after all these years makes Jason's heart trip a beat. Jason jerks his hand away before they can make contact, as though burned. Percy’s hand freezes. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Jason sighs, and his hands rest on the zipper of his backpack. "What do you want?"

Percy takes a deep breath. "I'm not trying to make excuses for what I did. What I did to you was unacceptable. I know that you could tell, that not all was well with my home life. Back when we were, when we were together."

"We weren't together. You made that clear." Jason doesn't recognize his voice. He doesn't sound like himself. He sounds robotic.

Percy winces. "Yeah, I. I know what I did. I'm sorry. I just, I just want to tell you everything that I didn't have the courage to tell you before." He takes a deep breath. "You know that my biological father wasn't in the picture. My mom ended up marrying my first stepdad, and well, he wasn't great." Percy clears his throat, before kneeling down on the ground to try and meet Jason's eyes. "Those bruises? That you always asked about and I said were because of fights? Those were from him. I'm sorry that I never talked to you about it. I just, I was ashamed and I didn't want to burden you with my issues."

"I would have listened. I would have helped you. Or, I would have tried." Jason's voice cracks.

"I know you would have. And I'm sorry for not trusting you with that. But most of all." Percy closes his eyes for two heartbeats of a moment before opening them. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I told you that I never loved you, and that was the biggest lie of my life." Jason stops breathing. "I loved you with everything that I had, and I still love you even now. I'm sorry that I ever made you think otherwise."

_ I still love you. I _ still  _ love you. I still _ love  _ you. _ Jason clears his throat and blinks until his eyes aren't blurry anymore. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Things are better now. I have a new stepdad, Paul, and he's great. I tried to find you years ago, but when I went to your house, the neighbors said that you moved away." Percy rests his hand beside Jason's knee, leaving space in between. Jason stares at his hand. "I'm sorry for your loss," he whispers, "I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I never thought that I would ever see you again, but then I saw you at the party, and well, it was like the world was giving me a second chance. If you're alright with it, I'd like to start again."

When Jason finally looks up and meets his eyes, there's a yearning in his gaze that Jason has only ever seen in the mirror when his thoughts wander towards what they had together. Jason never thought that anyone would ever look at him that way, much less Percy Jackson. Jason looks away.

"I missed you, too. And thanks for the apologies. But, I need time. I appreciate you telling me this, and I understand why you wouldn't feel comfortable talking about your situation, but I can't accept how easily you cut me out of your life, like I meant nothing to you. Like what we had was nothing." Jason closes his eyes. "I missed you. But I can't take you seriously. Not right now." Jason opens his eyes and gathers his backpack, before standing up and beginning to walk away.

"I'll wait!" Jason hears called after him, halting him in his tracks. "I'll wait as long as I need to." Jason ducks his head, and keeps walking.

* * *

The rest of the week passes with little to note. Once again, his thoughts center around Percy Jackson, but by now that's a mere part of routine. Percy's confession continues to circle in his mind.  _ I still love you. I love you. Love. _

Jason does his best to keep his mind off the topic, but that plan is derailed when Monday arrives and a package is left on his doorstep. The bouquet is beautiful, composed of hand-folded paper flowers. Even though the gift comes with no letter or return address, Jason knows immediately who had sent it. He remembers watching Percy fold animals and flowers out of binder paper during class, and being amazed at the ease and fluidity with which Percy's fingers moved.

Tuesday brings a box of Jason's favorite brand of tea. Then comes a box of blue chocolate chip cookies, and a baby blue hand-knit scarf. Jason knows that he shouldn't let these gifts affect his opinion of Percy's apology, but they do make his heart soften. Jason never doubted the sincerity of Percy's apology, and the gifts help Jason recognize that Percy is serious in his intent to try again. Jason realizes that he's being courted, and he can't keep a small smile from forming on his face at the thought.

On Friday evening, Percy Jackson shows up outside his front door. When Jason opens the door, he can't help but note how Percy has changed over the years. Rather than wearing all black like in high school, he's wearing a sky blue shirt with dark jeans that reminds Jason of the first time he ever met Percy when they were children and playing in a sandbox.

"Hi," Percy says, though it's more like an exhale than a word. There’s hope in his face that Jason can’t face without flushing.

"Hi." Jason watches and adjusts his glasses as Percy shuffles his feet.

"I understand if I've ruined any chance that I have, and if you never want to see me again after this, but I just need you to know how much you mean to me. If there's anything that I can do, to still have you in my life, I'll do it. Anything." Jason can see Percy's resolve in his eyes. "You are the best thing that life ever gave me, and I threw what we had away like it was nothing. I know that I can't ever make up for that fully. But if there's anything that I can do to repair what we had, I'll do it."

Jason is silent because he doesn't know what to do. He forgives Percy, of course. He never could stay upset with Percy. Maybe, he doesn't need to do anything too grand for Percy to understand. He clears his throat. "Do you want to come inside? For dinner?"

Percy stares at Jason, and the joy that dawns on his face makes Jason's cheeks heat. "I'd love to."

* * *

Months pass and Jason has never felt as loved as he does now. Percy says that they're boyfriends, he tells his mom about Jason. Percy texts Jason whenever he’s thinking about him and calls him at the end of the day to wish Jason goodnight. They spend time together on campus, and meet each other's friends. Jason brings Percy to his mother's grave, and formally introduces them. Percy holds Jason when he's anxious, and Jason soothes Percy when he wakes up from nightmares. Seven months after they started again, Jason asks Percy to move in with him. The joy on Percy's face and his blinding smile still give Jason butterflies, even after all these years. He hopes that they never stop appearing.

One day, Percy brings Jason home to meet his parents. Sally Jackson is just as warm and kind as Jason remembers, and Paul is a steady and comforting presence in the home. After dinner, Jason joins Sally in the kitchen to help dry the dishes.

"You know, Jason, I'm glad that you were willing to give Percy a second chance." Sally breaks the comfortable silence between them, and Jason startles at her voice before registering what she said. He goes back to carefully drying the dish in his hands.

"In the end, it wasn't a hard decision," he finally says in response. Sally merely gives him a knowing hum, and a warm smile when he glances at her.

That night, as Jason lies with Percy in his childhood bedroom, Jason rests his head on Percy's chest and tangles their fingers together. Jason takes in the two high school photos taped to Percy's wall. The first is the candid photo that Percy took of Jason, and the second is the one of them together, grinning at the camera. He takes a breath. And leaps.

"I love you, Percy Jackson." It's the first time that Jason has said this aloud to Percy in five years. Percy's heart skips a beat, and his grip on Jason's hand tightens. The kiss that he presses to Jason's forehead is fond and warm. When he speaks, his voice is hoarse.

"And I love you, Jason Grace."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey, thanks for reading to the end! It's been like four years since I've last written anything, and this is the first time I've written for this fandom. If you liked what you read, please leave a comment and kudos :). They make me really happy! You can also find this work on tumblr @hydrangeaseeds, where you can reblog it :)
> 
> EDIT (7/9/2020): Would anyone be interested in seeing Percy's POV of this? Or maybe just more cute moments of their relationship together? I'm kinda wanting to write more for jercy lmao


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